Signs from the Universe

I don't always believe in a world that protects and cares for me.  It's a drawback of being raised by a woman who was mentally ill and then not remembering it.  My way has always been to vigilantly look out for myself, take care of others, and beware.  Which can be exhausting.  Recently I had flashes of light in my left eye and then a storm of floaters.  While we were traveling up north.  Twice I visited the ophthalmologist to be told my eyes look great.  I was experiencing a normal process more acutely than most.  However, for me, when there's a lightening storm rooted in my left eye every time I move my eyes, I look calm on the outside while freaking out on the inside. I'm losing my sight or I'm having a stroke! are my go-to. "Do you think my retina is detaching?"  I asked my husband who yawns and smiles while my heart races.  But, I am learning once again that oddities that happen with the body are not always the end of the world.  Or the end of my eyeball.   Occam's razor is more true than not.  I am learning to take faith in that the simplest explanation is frequently right.  As we age, the gel inside all our eyeballs detaches from the retina.  My body is just reacting in a way that lets me know with light flashes and floaters.  But maybe there is more here.  On my way to get the pressure taken in my eye and photographs snapped of my retinal tissue, my brother told me, as he always does, that I was surrounded with love.  I used to laugh.  I used to not even hear him.  But in the midst of my retina flashing away and floaters drifting from left to right and up and down, I might have seen the light.  I laugh but I did find this shirt 75% off at an end-of-summer sale.  It's from the Life is Good brand.   Ying and yang.  Night and Day.  All colors of the rainbow.  Life is not perfect and not always easy but it's good.  Life is good.  And I deeply believe that.  I am grateful for the reminder and so wore that shirt when I went to the Opthamologist the first time.  The second time I wore a Life is Good shirt with a peace sign on it, made out of daisies.  It is my personal goal to embrace my body in a different way going forward.  To not think of everything as a disaster leading to loss of limb, life, eyeball.  To trust that most things, caught early and paid attention to are going to be fine. As history has shown. I don't have to duck and cover or run for my life forever.  My mom is long gone.  That history no longer needs to shape my life today.  This is important because it's fall tune-up time for my body.  I have upcoming appointments for my boobs to be x-rayed and scanned, my brain to be MRI'd, my teeth to be cleaned, my nervous system to be evaluated, my skin to be inspected, my primary care to check the wheels and steering.  Oh, and I have one more eye exam.  

Life is Good.  👀