The Shape of Water on Phlox

 It's the intramolecular forces of hydrogen and oxygen atoms pulling in that create a droplet of water.  Well, gravity plays a role as does surface tension but it's what goes on inside of that nearly spherical shape at the atomic level that determines how water beads up like teardrops on a phlox petal.  Once again, my raggedy garden might be myself.  I should write a book but then, again, that's what this blog does for me. It guides me as I peer inside and examine my garden and my inner life.  It makes me reflect on the shape of who I am and how that might unfold.  So many bonds and forces, unseen to my eye, pulling within give me form.  Sometimes those forces push and repel.  Who I am does not source, fundamentally, from the rush of life or even death pressing in on me from my dogs failing health or my husband's recent fall. They affect me, no doubt, all that stuff that is on the outside including my gray hair. But those glistening, magnifying little almost-spheres of light, remind that what goes on at the deepest levels of my being, those atomic shifts and turns. And how that creates my shape.  It is that that matters most.  I woke up the other morning and seemingly out of nowhere, asked myself, "What makes me happy?"  And it changed my life.  I no longer focus on the unending list or things to do or worry incessantly about my sister's cancer treatment.  I ask myself that four-word question every morning now the moment I open my eyes and feel my geriatric dog's cold nose on my outstretched hand.  It helps me focus on possibility.  On what's amazing and right in life.  On white phlox blooms wet from morning dew.